I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
