This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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