I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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