i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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