Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
