Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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