They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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