fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
