He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
