Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
