YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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