are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
