so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
