I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
