she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
