yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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