I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
