I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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