perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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