What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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