They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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