Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...