You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true