ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i think i just lost a toe
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
