Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize