Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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