I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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