wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
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If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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