About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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