If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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