I CAN MOONWALK!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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