Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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