tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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