RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
