I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You can't motorboat a personality
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
