the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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