When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Slut skills are useful in every country.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
