this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
