Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
