Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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