remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
