; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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