Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
