I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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