so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
