I'm going to jail i love you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
