you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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