Small penises have feelings too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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