Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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