So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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