Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
