sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
