Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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