i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize