don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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