Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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