i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
